You: “The fear of being judged? Me? No way!”
Also you, one second later: Which picture should I post? This colour or
that one? How do I look? This hairstyle or that one? This way or that way?
You
acted in a particular manner in that party because you feared that the person x
might judge you for what you do. You didn’t express or even in fact switched
your opinion in that debate because you feared being judged based on what you
think. You changed your dress at the last moment when you got to know that the
person x would also be present.
I
think almost all of us experience or may have experienced situations like these,
you believe me or not. The fear of
judgment has been and continues to haunt all of us in some form or the other
and keeps us from being proud and happy about who and how we are. But have
you ever thought how good or bad that ‘duplicate’ behavior of yours, due to the
fear of judgment is?
That
particular behavior of yours mostly brings out the best possible version of you.
So, why do you behave in the best possible way in front of the person x? Substantially, because that person is important
to you and you want the person to hold a good opinion about you.
Okay,
so now I want you to pause for a minute and imagine yourself behaving all the time,
like you do when that person x is in front of you. Pause, imagine yourself
that way and please answer to yourself. If you meet another person, who behaves
exactly like the (new) you do, would you love meeting him/her? Do you like your
(new) self and do you crave to see yourself like that all the time? Does the
mere thought of others reading your (new) mind make you happy (or does it scare
you)? Is this person who you just
imagined yourself is who you want to be?
I
expect your answers to be typically affirmative.
Okay,
so it is now that I come to the main issue:
right now, you are not who you want to be and that you aren’t living the
best possible version of yourself. So here comes the big question: How
can we live the best version of ourselves? Positing is very easy but the
question mark comes when we try to execute it, because we simply do not
and just get on with our lives. I firmly believe that we need to grow as a
person, each day. We need to learn and draw our own conclusions from our own
experiences, mistakes and failures. That
is how you are supposed to grow as an individual to achieve your endeavor of
living the best version of yourself. Nothing would come to you readymade, it is
you who has to understand and infer many realities of life, yourself. And that’s
where the beauty in living lies.
I
believe that to bring out the best of you, you first of all need to be
yourself. Do not lose your uniqueness. You are as unique as a human
fingerprint. Remember, there is no one like you in this whole wide world. There
is no one in the entire world who thinks the way you do. There is no one who
loves singing or dancing or writing or running or travelling, the way you do.
Everyone has a distinctive and a singular purpose of living here, which makes
all of us so special and it is only
our uniqueness which sets each one of us apart. Otherwise we are all as
similar and indistinguishable as every single drop of water.
Whenever
someone asks you arguably the most philosophically deep question - “who
are you?” you try to answer as to how you stand different from
others and how you are better than others some way or the other. I believe that it is only our uniqueness
that ideally defines who we really are. So, never lose your specialty,
which is essentially your uniqueness.
At
the same time, I strongly believe in the ideology “Stop just
being yourself and start creating yourself”.
Creating
yourself, I think this is where the true essence of growing up as a person
lies. Let me give you an
example. We all have experienced such situations in our lives when we see a
person and we instinctively realize- ’this is how I want to be’. For
instance, whenever i see a person with good oratory skills, I instantly feel
that, that is the way I want to be. But, at the same time I know that I am not
extraordinarily good at it. When you talk about your passion, many people may
demotivate you by saying that they have never seen you excel in it or that they
don’t find you inclined towards it. But this is exactly what I am opposing.
What I am trying to say is that if
you have a passion, you don’t have to initially and inherently be the best at
it. You have got to mould yourself into the best. And
that is what I mean when I say ‘creating yourself’.
For
example, Sachin Tendulkar wasn’t born as a cricketer. He was passionate about
it, brave enough to pursue it and determined to be the best at it. So primarily,
all you need is the passion, the fervor to pursue it and a yearning to be the
best at it. But, no achievement in life is going to come your way easily. To
become the best, you must develop the boldness and an intentional will to hustle,
bustle, slip, fall and still have the mettle to stand on your feet again.
I hope that I have been able to thoroughly justify my perspective
that the beauty is not only in being who you are, but also in creating
yourself into who you want to be. This
will not only set you free from the shackles which hinder your beautiful and treasurous
ride towards living the
best of yourself but will also help you overlook the judgment of others and
help you realize your own potential and your true worth in this world.
It
is this way that you can create yourself into a person, you yourself will be
proud of. You can create yourself
into a person as per your aspirations and how you wish to see yourself and not according
to the person x who was (or maybe is still) judging you. So, now that we
are back to square one, I hope that after reading through this, you’ll start
living, if not the best, at least a better version of yourself.
Thank
you.
-
Akshit
